Every Tuesday, Ben (Richards) brings you the creative endeavors that won’t make it onto ICS. (Only I waited to post this one on Wednesday…sorry folks. -Tony)

This week: Sarah Lacy invited you to the ‘Interview’ application. *Ignore*

“Now Ben,” you say. “Surely you’re not uncouth enough to suggest—in this liberated and forward-thinking forum, no less—that censorship could somehow be beneficial.” I briefly ignore you and use my Blackberry to check The Wall, “When a potentially fascinating discussion turns into a Twittered mess, I must regrettably present A Case for Censorship…”

Rolling along on this jam-packed Tuesday…

By now, you’ve likely heard about SXSW’s trainwreck of a tech keynote—Zuckerberg v. Lacy: The Fracas in Texas. Sarah Lacy’s, um, engaging style did not seem to please a crowd of overly-stimulated, lubricated nerds. Even questions that could have been hard-hitting and omgs-inducing got some sort of disarming giggly treatment. Mark Zuckerberg’s unwillingness to give a straight answer didn’t help the situation. “We’re not focused on stuff like that”? There is no way they are not at least thinking about making money. What a crap answer.

I know Facebook isn’t Faust, but it’s kind of a hallmark of our time. I would have enjoyed getting a little insight from the creator. There had to be things that would’ve kicked that clunker into overdrive. Oh, perhaps things like:

• SXSWacky Themed Q&A segments
  “The next five questions must include an authentic insipid quote from a collegiate Facebook profile. As an added challenge, the quotes will be drawn from the nation’s top five party schools (in descending order).” “All of the questions in the upcoming segment will be submitted to a moderator and read in a Canadian accent by a pantsless Ringo Starr.”
• SXXXSW
  Female attendees compete to distract Mark Zuckerberg with suggestive poses, jokes and gestures while Sarah Lacy performs a competent, unassuming interview. The first contestant to cause Zuckerberg to crack and offer an ill-advised marriage proposal is rewarded with free admission to the Ryan Cabrera showcase on March 14th.
• The Geek Police
  A random Web 2.0 nerd is violently removed from the venue by large, armed representatives of Austin’s Finest. His terrifyingly spontaneous, yet hilarious interrogation is secretly filmed and projected behind the keynote speakers as a lighthearted intermission. The video includes a cartoonish countdown to a tongue-in-cheek Punk’d-style reveal. The unfortunate victim is rewarded with free admission to the Ryan Cabrera showcase on March 14th.
• SXSW Analog: Ultimate Mobile
  Every three minutes, Zuckerberg and Lacy sprint to a new location and continue the keynote. Twitter is temporarily taken offline and wireless networks are jammed to prevent communication that might allow slower attendees to discover the next destination. Zuckerberg and Lacy employ increasingly complicated and dangerous evasion tactics between subsequent locations. The last attendee to stay with the sneaky pair is rewarded with free admission to the Ryan Cabrera showcase on March 14th.